Our highly trained sniffer dog detected this hideously dangerous illegal alien in our midst this morning. The sudden appearance of these strange white beings who are from far away and who are very different to us should give us all cause for fear, hysteria, xenophobia and major concern. Close all borders! Build a wall! Suspend immigration! Call out the National Guard! And, above all else, protect the President (hmmmm…well…..perhaps not – he’s used to having cold hearted people around him).